today is one of those days when there’s not a whole lot that is keeping me from bursting into tears.
i feel empty on the inside.
i feel ugly on the outside.
so i go ahead and i burst.
i’ve tried to get into the habit of posting every tuesday and because i feel, well, shitty today, i wasn’t going to post anything. but then i thought of what i encourage everyone else to do: go ahead and show up.
i don’t tell you that you need to be happy or to even pull yourself together, i just encourage you to show up.
so that’s what i’m doing. walkin’ the walk and showing up. (holding my breath at the same time.)
i keep hoping that the next day will be better. and it often is. i keep hoping that i’m not broken inside. and i’m sure that i’m not.
my husband (oh how i love him so) reminds me that this isn’t me and that i didn’t choose to feel this way. so i sit with that thought and my beat the blues box, and write this short message to you.
it’s okay if you don’t feel freakin’ awesome today. or tomorrow. you will again. just like i will, too. i promise.
until then, i’ll do my best to smile and laugh. i’ll eat chocolate. and i’ll probably take my husband up on the offer to go to the bookstore to get a new moleskin since that’s what my doc put on the prescription pad — 1 new moleskin. i think they have magical healing powers, those moleskins. no? oh well, i’m gonna roll with it anyway. 😉